I got an email from someone bitchass troll who pre-divorce, I would have considered a “good friend.” Funny how life changes, isn’t it. She so pointedly told me that my blog was “disgusting” that I was “laughing in the face of divorce.” OK, THAT part might be true, but when the Ex. Mr. Nara and I decided it was time to part ways, a huge part of me died. It is the part that believed in love, or the fairy tale. I’m not sure any of that exists, or if people just survive together. So yes, my blog is funny, because that is how I survive (and because I am funny as shit).
I could go into the 10,000 reasons we got divorced, (and it seems as though people are honest to fucking god DYING to know) but the reality is, I never would….. Why? Can you not read? Because when we parted ways, I died. I was 23 years old when I met the old Mr. Nara. We grew up together and then we grew apart. He was wrong, I was wrong (ok, obvi he was WAY wronger, because HELLO, have you MET ME?). But the thing is, I have gotten past the part of my life when I wake up every day hoping his brake lines got cut cry every day.
So to the people who think I am “laughing” at my divorce, know this…. The night before our divorce was final, I laid in the fetal position in my car hysterically crying for hours. I was alone. There was not one person there, because my “person” was gone. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t believe he was gone. I thought about the things we had done, the things we wanted to do, and the dreams we had…. It was all gone. I was alone. Neither of us went into our marriage with the vows “Till we feel like meh, something better came along.” When I decided to follow through with our divorce, that we both had talked about for so long (because again, we met when we were twenty – fucking – three years old, are you the same person you were at 23? Right.), I not only lost him, I lost our family. I lost friends, I lost confidants. But I found myself. And guess what, he did too. And guess what else bitch ass trolls who I sorta think are jelly of me both of our lives are better for it. People who say to stay together for the kids, really? Honestly, RE-FUCKING-ally?
I am not writing this as an explanation of myself, there is no one who deserves that. But for the people who question if we did the right thing…… I will tell you this…. Hardly a day goes by that I don’t communicate with the ex-husband formally known as Mr. Nara. Not about me, not about him, not about divorce, or the weather (that’s a lie, we do communicate about weather) about our babes.…. Why, because he loves our children. And I do too. And that is what matters. So settle the fuck down trolls. I would love to say “Walk one mile in my shoes.” But they are Louboutin and you can’t handle that shit.
Up sooner than I thought….. The friends you need in your life, and, the ones you don’t. And, because this is me, likely some more of this… Because back to funny.